In 2025, it can feel like new styles of parenting crop up everyday — and in between packing lunches and navigating bedtime, it can be hard to keep up with them all. But odds are good you’ve heard of gentle parenting, which has been frequently covered in the media and triggered a heated debate online in the last few years.
Those who practice gentle parenting aim to raise their kids without shame, to avoid punishment, approach them with compassion, and to use discipline with consistent boundaries rather than resorting to yelling, bribing, and demands. Recently, though, a subset of gentle parenting has been gaining traction: soft parenting. Here, we dive into what soft parenting is, and explain the seemingly minor—but actually quite impactful—differences that make soft and gentle worlds apart.
What Is Soft Parenting?
Soft parenting starts with the primary components of gentle parenting, like empathy for your children and validation of their feelings, and takes them a few steps further.
“Soft parenting is like gentle parenting on steroids—where the focus on empathy can tip into permissiveness, leaving boundaries fuzzy and discipline sidelined,” says Ana Vega, a leading expert in mindful parenting and interpersonal mindfulness.
In an attempt to create a peaceful environment, soft parents rarely punish their kids, and generally accommodate their requests without enforcing boundaries.
“Think of it as well-meaning but boundary-averse parenting that risks raising kids who might struggle with self-regulation or adapting to clear expectations,” Vega adds.
Of note, while soft parenting shares some traits with permissive parenting, the root, or reason for choosing this style, differs. Like gentle parents, soft parents often adopt this technique with the aim of empathizing with their child and helping them to develop strong emotional intelligence skills. But their methods differ in a few key ways.
Examples of Soft Parenting
- Asking your child what they’d like to do, rather than telling them what’s next
- Rarely saying “no” to your child, and instead acquiescing to their requests or demands instead to avoid an argument or meltdown
- Empathizing with your child in all situations (even when behavior crosses the line)
- Prioritizing your child’s feelings over holding boundaries
- Foregoing structure in favor of following your child’s lead
What Are the Characteristics of a Soft Parent?
Soft parents tend to be calm, nurturing, and emotionally invested in their child’s inner life. They envision a peaceful, supportive environment for their children, and do their best to model emotional regulation during tough moments.
Soft parents are also lenient, and may err on the side of ignoring difficult behaviors rather than dealing with them productively in the name of keeping the peace. That might manifest as a lack of household rules and boundaries between parent and child.
In other words, soft parents tend to have noble aims and make intentional choices—but their execution can lead to a household that is child-led rather than parent-led. This can be chaotic and even confusing for children, who (despite what they may say) rely on structure and discipline from their caregivers in order to thrive.
How Is Soft Parenting Different from Gentle Parenting?
Speaking of boundaries, soft parenting doesn’t allow parents to create boundaries around types of behavior is—and isn’t—allowed in the family unit.
“While soft and gentle parenting both emphasize emotional connection and respect, the key difference lies in boundary-setting,” says Dr. Carolina Estevez, Psy.D. “While gentle parenting balances empathy with clear rules, positive reinforcement, and guiding children toward appropriate behavior, soft parenting leans more towards accommodating a child’s desire and emotions, sometimes at the expense of consistency.”
Asha Dore, speech language pathologist and writer, agrees that how boundaries are handled is a key differentiator between gentle parenting and soft parenting.
“Gentle parenting is a bit like an apprenticeship model; teaching kids language for what they’re struggling with that’s not shame-based. Soft parenting has the same hyper focus on the child’s experience, but it can manifest as asking lots of questions rather than holding potentially difficult boundaries,” she adds.
How Soft Parenting Effects Neurodivergent Kids
Dore also noted that the language patterns that go along with soft parenting may be particularly difficult for neurodivergent kids, who are often overstimulated by questions and do better when parents make firm decisions with their best interest in mind.
Tips for Trying Out Soft Parenting
If some parts of soft parenting appeal to you, you might want to combine this technique with some of the tenants of gentle parenting. There are ways to combine these two parenting styles that will introduce while soften your parenting approach while being careful to maintain healthy boundaries. Here are a few suggestions:
- Practice active listening by validating your child’s emotions
- Focus on teaching moments when your child makes a mistake, like talking about consequences or thinking up solutions for better behavior, rather than administering a punishment
- Balance empathy and compassion for your child’s emotional reactions with day-to-day structure including consistent meal times and bedtime routines
- Allow your child to make mistakes in a safe environment, where they aren’t judged and receive age-appropriate discipline if the situation calls for it
- Lead by example by regulating your emotions rather than reacting with anger
- Let your child make their own decisions in low-stakes situations (such as picking their own outfit)
