Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents
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A New York Times bestseller—with more than one million copies sold!
If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, or abandonment. You may recall your childhood as a time when your emotional needs were not met, when your feelings were dismissed, or when you took on adult levels of responsibility in an effort to compensate for your parent’s behavior. These wounds can be healed, and you can move forward in your life.
In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect, and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents’ emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you’ll learn how to create positive, new relationships so you can build a better life.
Discover the four types of difficult parents:
The emotional parent instills feelings of instability and anxiety The driven parent stays busy trying to perfect everything and everyone The passive parent avoids dealing with anything upsetting The rejecting parent is withdrawn, dismissive, and derogatory
From the Publisher
Publisher : New Harbinger Publications; 1st edition (June 1, 2015)
Language : English
Paperback : 216 pages
ISBN-10 : 1626251703
ISBN-13 : 978-1626251700
Item Weight : 11.3 ounces
Dimensions : 5.75 x 0.5 x 9 inches
Customers say
Customers find the book informative and helpful. They describe it as an easy, interesting read that provides valuable insights. The book makes them feel comfortable and less alone. It includes relatable stories from the author’s own clients. Readers appreciate the author’s objective and non-judgmental approach. Overall, they consider the book a good value for money and save money on therapy sessions.
AI-generated from the text of customer reviews
A New York Times bestseller—with more than one million copies sold!
If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, or abandonment. You may recall your childhood as a time when your emotional needs were not met, when your feelings were dismissed, or when you took on adult levels of responsibility in an effort to compensate for your parent’s behavior. These wounds can be healed, and you can move forward in your life.
In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect, and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents’ emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you’ll learn how to create positive, new relationships so you can build a better life.
Discover the four types of difficult parents:
The emotional parent instills feelings of instability and anxiety The driven parent stays busy trying to perfect everything and everyone The passive parent avoids dealing with anything upsetting The rejecting parent is withdrawn, dismissive, and derogatory
From the Publisher
Publisher : New Harbinger Publications; 1st edition (June 1, 2015)
Language : English
Paperback : 216 pages
ISBN-10 : 1626251703
ISBN-13 : 978-1626251700
Item Weight : 11.3 ounces
Dimensions : 5.75 x 0.5 x 9 inches
by CB
This is a good book. Donât be scared to read this book. Also recommended reading
Really liking this book. Itâs easy to read, thoughtful, kind, and understanding.Some recommended other reading in conjunction with this:The Virginâs Promise – About self-actualizing as a woman. It is in contrast to the life path of the Heroâs journeyThe Heroineâs Journey (Murdock) – for women that are burnt out living a more masculine oriented life (doing, achieving, being in the corporate world).Boundaries (Cloud) – how to self-assert, say no, and have less anxiety by putting your needs in balance with what others want from you.The Stress Book – a person thoughtfully telling you practical ways to convert stress into things that can help you and relieve specific causes of stress and advice related to themThe Mental Toughness handbook – a practical guide to understanding your emotions, what they mean, and building resiliencyWild at Heart – the secret to a manâs soul – the question all men need answered in their lifeQuiet: the power of introverts in a world that canât stop talking – validation that being an inverted doesnât mean you are flawed, but actually was the standard personality type until the 20th century. Shows practical ways introverted personalities are beneficial to society.
by Phteven
Profoundly Helpful!
I purchased this book at the recommendation of a coworker, and then the latter recommendation of my therapist. Having said that, this book has been such a comfort. If you are struggling with parents who are emotionally stunted, manipulative or self focused this could be a great read for you. As adults it becomes difficult to sometimes reconcile the person who raised us with the person we now occupy space with as adults. The relationships we have with out parents are often times strange and complex because there is a delicate balance of child and adult. Yes, we are children of these people, but we are also adults with our own lives and responsibilities. The illusion that your parent is always right and knows everything no longer has the same impact as when we were kids. This book helps to navigate those things and provide you with tools that facilitate growth. This book helps you to understand that it is okay to want things for yourself. If you’re struggling with guilt for existing I strongly encourage you to read this. If you have siblings, get them to read this too. I found this book so helpful I’m starting a family book club so we can discuss this book and find constructive ways to heal from the abuse we faced as children. It’s never too late.
by KC Morris
Fantastic!
The book “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents” is a remarkably insightful and concise resource. It encourages readers to reflect on the nature of their relationships with their parents without falling into the trap of self-blame. This book is a powerful tool for healing and establishing healthier boundaries.My partner, who has been deeply impacted by an emotionally immature father, has found immense value in it as well. Despite their perception of having a solid relationship, itâs clear that their father’s controlling behavior has influenced my partner in various aspects of life. This educational read has truly made a difference for us. I wholeheartedly recommend this book to anyone seeking clarity and a path toward emotional wellbeing.
by Emmyschue
Brought deeper awareness of my family dynamics
Found this book in an internet search on shadow work, healing the inner child, reparenting. So much of this resonated with me – the family dynamics laid out, as I remember them from childhood and experience them now. I found the tips helpful, particularly about stepping out of the dynamics as they unfold and calmly observing, setting boundaries, and managing one’s own expectations for family relationships and the limitations they have when at least one person involved is emotionally immature. Highly recommend this book.
by Madison
Mostly about “Mommy issues”
Out of the 51 or so patient stories, sprinkled throughout the book, only around 7 mention fathers, with the first of those occurring around chapter 5. Although it retains gender neutral language about “parenting” it is primarily talking about relationships with mothers, or the “primary care parent”. This is fine, I just wish the author had addressed this skewed representation and what it reflects of her subject.Similarly, most of her sources are over 30 years old. I wish she had addressed why these were used as opposed to more recent ones. Old studies can be good, but they can also be out of date and reflect biases we as a society no longer accept. There are also a couple glairing over-generalizations sprinkled here and there.It’s a fine book, and a helpful one concerning the recognition and reformation of problematic patterns- just be ready to gloss over a couple sentences here and there and don’t expect much assistance with emotionally unavailable fathers.
by Alana G.
Thankful!
A familyâs member told me to read this book to gain some insight in my family dynamics. Iâve never read a book so quickly before. If youâre looking to be introspective, grow, and apply, this book can be incredibly powerful and useful.
by Ana
Fascinating read. Well worth it
Really interesting book, both for family relationships and more broadly – all relationships. Came across it by chance. Go figure!
by E. A. A. Mena
Ha sido uno de los mejores libros que he leÃdo con respecto al tema, me movió mucho y me dió muchas herramientas para lidiar con mis pensamientos y con mi familia. Es altamente recomendable y junto con mi proceso terapeutico (psicoterapia cognitivo conductual) me ha permitido crecer mucho y sanar esta parte de mi vida. Es una herramienta muy buena y clara. Lo que más me gustó es que no busca generar una relación polar con tus padres sino saber sanar y generar compasión por lo que ellos sufrieron también y que los llevo a ser como fueron contigo.
by M. C.
To the point and written with lots of empathy towards the targeted audience. I am truly grateful to have found this book.
by Andreza
estou digitando com os pés porque com as mãos eu estou aplaudindo KKKK ð leitura excelente para fazermos uma autorreflexão e entendermos nossos pais e a dinâmica da nossa famÃlia. a autora explica tudo de uma forma fácil de entender e terminamos o livro com o coração quentinho e cheio de esperança ⨠mal terminei o livro e já quero relê-lo, recomendo demais! já quero ler os outros livros da autora porque a escrita dela é maravilhosa! ð
by Evane Pierre Tan
It was a gift but I think everything is good
by Phoebe
This is such a wonderfully informative, interesting book. If you grew up not being obviously abused, but still suffer greatly from the way your parents treated you, then I imagine this is a great book for you, as it was me. The way it describes situations and experiences, really hit home. It put into words, feelings and experiences I have had for many years, but could not process or articulate to myself or others. I diligently read this book and will keep it to hand to refer back to. It has already helped improve my mental health surrounding my parents, and helped me communicate with them better to where I am not as triggered and upset as before. I am able to observe their behaviour and remember the book and then process everything in a healthier way. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who struggles with their relationship with their parents.