Um… can we let out a little bit at the leg, the hips, and maybe the shoulders?
Let’s get this out of the way. Most Italian cars—like most Italian suits—are simply not made for my six-foot-four frame and 250 pounds. Sure, I manage with the modern stuff okay, but go back a couple of generations and things start to get a little tight. Go back even further and I become literally too much for the damned things. It’s the bane of my enthusiast existence: so many of the cars I find myself drawn to just don’t fit me. Or, maybe I just don’t fit them. Certainly, my pal Dan’s drop-dead gorgeous Alfa Romeo Sprint Speciale seems a little less speciale when I try to get in it. However, the video I recently posted on Instagram of exactly that inelegant spectacle was a big hit among my friend group (and beyond). The Germans have a word for it. The Italians, not so much. But the fact remains that many of the poster cars of my youth (I was fresh out of high school when this F355 was built…) were Italian. And small. At least on the inside.
Small car, big stick
Ferrari’s 355 has forever loomed large in my enthusiast consciousness. It’s always just looked so good. It’s always sounded so good, too, and it was a real performer in its day, putting down numbers that were far superior to those of the 348 it replaced. And, much like Porsche’s 993—another car available in automotive showrooms in your better neighborhoods at exactly the same time—Ferrari’s 355 has emerged in recent years as the “youngtimer” of its marque to own. And, for many of the same reasons.
And, at age 49, I finally got to drive one—a 1995 Rosso Corsa F355 Berlinetta belonging to my friend and fellow local enthusiast, Brian Ruden. Brian made a name for himself as the founder of Star Buds, the famed chain of cannabis dispensaries that’s now in six states. And thank god for the tokers, because Brian’s been able to curate one hell of a car collection. Walking into his expansive garage is like lifting the lid on the world’s chocolatiest Gen-X car-kid chocolate box. From a Carrera GT to a Lamborghini Diablo to a 997.2 GT3 RS to an F40, every piece is a good one. But, while Brian and I share both a birth year and similar tastes in cars, we could never share a wardrobe. Call Brian an M to my XL, and the way his cars are set up reflects that.
Hold me closer, tiny dancer
I couldn’t imagine a better example of a 355 for my drive. 1995 was the 355’s launch year in the States, and the consensus seems to be that it’s also its best year, as ‘96 would bring OBDII with its associated airflow modifications and a little less oomph. Additionally, Brian’s car has a few mods that really bring the driving experience together. You’re sure to have noticed the period-correct Speedline wheels plucked directly from the Ferrari Challenge Series cars of the era. Underneath is a Nouvalari exhaust that sounds like god’s own F1 vuvuzela, and a Brembo big brake kit makes for modern stopping power. Thankfully, as an F355, this one’s got Ferrari’s trademark gated manual gearbox, instead of the much-maligned F1 automated manual that was later introduced in the 355 F1. Unfortunately, the pedal box was also extra-petite for 1995, so even my slimmest size-14s made proper pedal operation tricky, much less anything resembling proper heel-and-toeing.
D’oh!
Brian has also outfitted his F355 with hard Sparco buckets sized and positioned just for him. With the seat slid back as far as it would go but with its non-adjustable height a little proud, I found myself with knees high and arms fully extended. Recall if you will the image of an animated Homer Simpson receiving a cannonball shot to his stomach. This is the form my body took to adapt to the ergonomics at play and allow me to drive this modern Maranello masterpiece.
So, while my dreams of svelte sliding into the Ferrari like a mid-Nineties playboy were noble, the reality is that I just didn’t look all that cool behind the wheel, bunched up like I was. I also wasn’t very comfortable, but once we got moving, the real beauty of the car became clear. Going up Golden Gate Canyon, this was an easy-to-drive vehicle with neutral handling, linear power delivery, proper punch, and yes, one of the best four-wheeled soundtracks ever created. I came expecting something raspier, rougher, and maybe even a little trickier to drive. But with its flat-plane V8, this thing just sings, and with its mid-engine layout and dialed-in suspension, it just dances. Much like with my own Porsche GT4, the center of rotation is immediately apparent, and I was instantly comfortable guiding the car’s 375 horsepower. Even though they fight in the same weight class, the F355 somehow made my GT4 seem brutish, heavy, and coarse. And I’ve never described a Porsche GT car that way.
I probably looked like a total momo the whole time (see what I did there?), but honestly, I don’t care. The Ferrari F355 is an absolute blast to drive. The only real letdown was how it fit me-or rather, how I fit it. Because of that, I couldn’t really drive it the way it was meant to be driven. Still, the 355 just looks right. That engine note is still ringing in my ears. And hey, I got to check the box of one of my teenage dream cars.
Considerazioni finali
Would I buy one? Absolutely. The combination of value, design, performance, and sound is an intoxicating mix. For someone of my generation, it has an undeniable, intrinsic cool, earned from hours of staring at it in magazines as a younger man. The one thing that always scared me away from 355 ownership—the dreaded engine-out service every three years—now feels like more of an early Ferrari money grab than a true necessity. According to Brian, the commonly accepted interval among owners these days is closer to seven years.
And while the days of finding a cheap, manual 355 are long gone (just like with Porsche 993s), you can still pick up a nice, gated Berlinetta for around $150K. A GTS will cost a bit more, while a Spider goes for considerably less. And, honestly, maybe a Spider is the move. The folding top would make getting in and out a lot easier. Of course, you give up the cool flying buttress arches and that beautiful curved rear glass you get with the GTB and GTS—but for me, form should probably follow function. Stay tuned as I squeeze myself into another poster car soon.
