80 Kid-Approved Valentine’s Day Jokes That Will Light Up Their Day

Valentine’s Day might feel like a serious romantic holiday, but it’s the perfect time of year to remind your family just how special they are. Whether you pass out pink-foiled candy or create crafty cards, you can keep the smiles and good times rolling by adding a few Valentine’s Day jokes, quips, and witticisms into the mix. Not only can a well-timed joke make your kid laugh out loud (or cause a light-hearted eye roll), but it also can lighten the mood.

This Valentine’s Day, pop a hand-written joke into your kid’s lunchbox to capture your little cupid’s heart. Or, if you’re celebrating at home, write out a handful of your favorites and hide them around the house for your family to find all week.

To help you discover the perfect joke, we picked the brains of a few kids, canvassed the internet, and asked other parents for their favorite one-liners, knock-knock jokes, dad jokes, and puns.

Q&A Valentine’s Day Jokes for Kids

If there’s one thing kids love to do, it’s ask a question someone else can’t answer. This Valentine’s day, equip them with some hilarious Q&A jokes they can use to stump others. Here are a few of our favorites:

  • What do you call a small Valentine? A Valen-tiny.
  • Where do you find love in the grocery store? Aisle B… there for you.
  • What did the lightbulb say to their partner? I love you a whole watt!
  • Did you hear about the porcupine who lost their glasses? They fell in love with a pincushion!
  • Do you have a date for Valentine’s day? Yes, February 14th.
  • What did the ghost say to their partner? You look so boo-tiful.
  • What did the rabbit say to their partner on Valentine’s Day? Somebunny loves you.
  • What did the paper clip say to the magnet? I find you very attractive.
  • What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you.
  • Who always has a date on Valentine’s Day? A calendar.
  • How do you keep a jewelry store safe on Valentine’s Day? You locket.
  • What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day? I’m stuck on you.
  • How do astronomers propose on Valentine’s Day? They planet.
  • What did the thread say to the needle? I’m sew into you.
  • What did one recliner say to the other? I chair-ish you.
  • What did one cat say to the other cat on Valentine’s Day? You’re purr-fect.
  • Why did the astronaut couple break up? They needed space.
  • Why do air fresheners love Valentine’s Day? They’re so scent-imental.
  • What did the two rocks pledge at their wedding? To never take each other for granite.
  • What did the car say to the tire? Wheel you be my valentine?
  • Which flowers get the most kisses on Valentine’s Day? Tulips (two-lips!). 
  • What did the scientist say to their Valentine? I think of you periodically.
  • What did one oar say to another? Can I interest you in a little row-mance? 
  • How do phones propose to their partners? They give them a ring.
  • What did Han Solo say to Princess Leia on Valentine’s Day? Yo-da one for me.

Valentine’s Day Food Jokes for Kids

Nothing will get a kid giggling like a good food joke. Here are some extra silly ones that they’ll love sharing with their friends:

  • Where did the hamburger take their date? To the meat-ball!
  • What kind of dinner does Cupid eat? A heart-y one.
  • What do you give your Valentine in France? A big quiche.
  • What did the omelet say to the toast on Valentine’s Day? You’re eggs-actly my type.
  • Why did all the other fruit ask the banana to be their Valentine? Because they were very a-peel-ing.
  • What did one piece of toast say to the other on Valentine’s Day? You’re my butter half.
  • What did the graham cracker say to the marshmallow? I love you s’more and s’more each day.
  • Why are artichokes so beloved on Valentine’s Day? They’re known for their hearts.
  • What do pickles in love say? I love you a great dill.
  • What did one watermelon say to the other on Valentine’s Day? You’re one in a melon.
  • What’s the perfect thing to say to a coffee lover on Valentine’s Day? Words cannot espresso what you mean to me.
  • Did Adam and Eve ever have a date? No, they had an apple.
  • What did the blueberry say on Valentine’s Day? I love you berry much.

Best Valentine’s Day One-Liners for Kids

Sometimes a cute one-liner is all that’s needed to bring a smile to someone’s face. Share these with your kids, and you’ll likely get a little chuckle.

  • You must be the internet because I’m feeling the connection.
  • I was wondering why my feet got cold, then I remembered you knocked my socks off.
  • You should be put in jail because you stole my heart.
  • Do you have a name or can I call you mine?
  • I should rearrange the alphabet; that way, I can put “U” and “I” together.
  • You’re sweeter than any Valentine’s Day candy!
  • Check out this math problem: You + me = 2gether 4ever.
  • I must be peanut butter because you’re my jam.
  • I must be a snowflake because I’ve fallen for you.
  • You’re like a dictionary and add meaning to my life.

Valentine’s Day Dad Jokes

The best dad jokes are just as corny as they are funny. Here are the cheesiest Valentine’s Day inspired picks that will make any kid laugh out loud.

  • Why do tennis players make the best spouses? They know everything about love.
  • What do elephants say to one another on Valentine’s Day? I love you a ton.
  • Do you play soccer? Because you’re a keeper!
  • How did the coin propose to their partner? They gave them a jingle.
  • I heard a joke about chocolate candy bars. It wasn’t very funny. But I still Snickered.
  • What’s a bread loaf’s favorite song? “All You Knead is Love.”
  • Did you hear about the spider wedding? Yes, they’re newly-webs.
  • What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts.

Valentine’s Day Knock-Knock Jokes for Kids

Most kids love a good knock-knock joke. Not only can they cause a cascade of giggles, but they can be hilarious to ask other people, just to see their reactions. Here are a few family-friendly Valentine’s Day knock-knock jokes:

  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Peas. Peas who? Peas be my Valentine.
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Arthur. Arthur who? Arthur any chocolates left for me?
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Ol-love you.
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Frank. Frank who? Frank you for being my friend.
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Disguise. Disguise who? Dis-guy’s your Valentine.
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Donut. Donut who? Donut ever let me go.
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Luke. Luke who? Luke who got a Valentine.
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Atlas. Atlas who? Atlas, it’s Valentine’s Day! 
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Jamaica. Jamaica who? Ja-make-a me a Valentine?
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Justin. Justin who? Justin time to give you a Valentine.
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sherwood. Sherwood who? Sherwood like to be your Valentine.

Valentine’s Day Puns for Kids

Everyone loves a good pun, especially kids. Not only do these goofy phrases play with the different meanings and sounds of words, but they’re also a blast to share. Here are some silly Valentine’s Day puns your kids might enjoy:

  • If you were a triangle, you’d be acute one!
  • Don’t go bacon my heart this Valentine’s Day.
  • I can heart-ly wait to see you later.
  • Although it’s corny, I think you’re a-maize-ing.
  • I have something sweet to say: Our friendship is a choco-LOT of fun!
  • I dig you a hole lot.
  • We’re butter together.
  • I love you very matcha.
  • Will you brie mine on Valentine’s Day?
  • You and I make a great pear!
  • I like you a latte!
  • Aloe you vera much.
  • You guac my world!



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