13 Green Flags That Signal Your Partner Will Make a Good Parent, According to Experts

Whether you’re considering having kids or already have a child and are exploring a long-term romantic commitment, you may wonder if your partner has what it takes to make a good parent. Like many parents, your central concern is likely creating a safe, loving, and stable environment for your child.

Experts agree that successful relationships hinge on solid communication, mutual effort, respect, and understanding. According to Dalad Srisuppak, PhD, LMHC, a mental health professional and director of school programs at Community Partners of South Florida, consistency and structure is also key. “Children need structure to feel stable [and] to help them grow,” she explains.

To help you determine if your partner has the qualities of a great parent, we consulted four experts for their insights. Below are 13 characteristics to look out for, along with warning signs and tips to strengthen your relationship as you prepare for parenthood.

Passionate About Parenting and Children

A partner who genuinely cares about the well-being of their future children will make a good parent, says Courtney Chicvak, JD, an attorney specializing in custody and visitation mediation and program director of alternative dispute resolution at Long Island Dispute Resolution Centers. 

“They realize that becoming a parent is a significant life decision and they [plan to] enter parenting with care and intentionality,” says Chicvak. “They are thoughtful and self-aware and actively take steps to improve themselves as a partner so they can rise to the occasion and show up as the best version of themselves.” 

Additionally, a strong future parent focuses on what’s best for others, not just what’s most convenient for them, adds Caitlin Slavens, MC, a psychologist, parenting expert, and co-founder of MamaPsychologists.

Maintains an Optimistic and Resilient Mindset

Having both an optimistic and resilient mindset is a strong indicator of good parenting potential, says Chicvak. “Optimism is important because there will be setbacks during parenting. Being able to figuratively dance in the rain together in those moments, and work together to make lemonade out of lemons, will strengthen the relationship.” 

These traits also will teach future children important life skills for overcoming adversity, developing grit, and building resilience, she says.

Balances Boundaries with Flexibility

Having clear boundaries, while maintaining thoughtful flexibility, creates the ideal foundation for parenting, says Chicvak. “Boundaries are critical because they set expectations, provide stability, and create the framework for everyday living. However, there can be a benefit to being open to revisiting different ideas and being creative with solutions in certain circumstances.” 

A partner who communicates and enforces boundaries, while recognizing when it’s beneficial to make adjustments and work collaboratively, makes for a good parent, says Chicvak. 

Life with children is often unpredictable, adds Sarah Thompson, MEd, LPC, LCMHC, LCSW, a licensed professional counselor and founder of SJT Therapy. “A parent who is flexible and willing to adjust plans as needed helps ensure that both parents can share responsibilities without feeling overwhelmed or rigid.”

Displays Emotional Intelligence and Self-Awareness

Emotional intelligence is a crucial trait for good parenting, explains Chicvak. A partner with emotional intelligence demonstrates a deep understanding of their own emotions, leading to the self-awareness necessary for effective parenting.

Additionally, pay attention to their ability to empathize with how others are feeling, they should ensure everyone feels heard and recognized during interactions.

“A partner who can manage their feelings is also less likely to escalate conflict or take rash actions, providing a less fraught environment for the kids,” adds Slavens. Also, partners who can acknowledge their strengths and weaknesses are often more open to personal growth. This willingness to improve is essential for overcoming parenting challenges, she says.

Engages in Effective Conflict Resolution

Handling conflict in a healthy and constructive way is a key trait of a partner who would make a good parent, explains Chicvak. “Children first learn conflict resolution skills from their family and parents, so this is a critical moment for partners to take on the role of teachers to ensure their children learn how to resolve conflict in a healthy manner.” 

A partner with strong conflict resolution skills can de-escalate situations respectfully and productively, Chivak adds. Look for someone who uses “I” statements, expresses appreciation for their partner, participates in active listening, asks open-ended questions, and labels emotions. These behaviors not only demonstrate a thoughtful approach to conflict but also set a positive example for future children on how to navigate disagreements effectively.

Seeking Help Is a Green Flag, Too

A partner that knows when to reach out to a professional for help will make a great parent, says Chicvak. “A good parent recognizes that contacting a third-party, such as a therapist, a family mediator, or another resource, may be appropriate in certain circumstances to de-escalate the conflict.”

Shows Up and Follows Through

A responsible and level-headed partner who makes intentional and thoughtful decisions is a valuable trait to look for in a prospective parent, explains Chicvak. “Using good judgment and common sense, conducting research, and thinking through the long-term impacts of decisions are all necessary qualities.” 

Similarly, a partner who honors their commitments, remains consistent in their presence, and shows up reliably over extended periods is also crucial, she says.

Believes in Being a Team Player

A sign of a potentially good parent is someone who puts their self-interests aside and focuses on the well-being of others, says Chicvak. Similarly, they should respect everyone’s perspectives and look for moments of collaboration and compromise—all of which are extremely valuable when parenting. 

A strong partner is also willing to build a network of friends and supporters, including family, friends, teachers, religious figures, medical professionals, all aligned to ensure the children have everything they need—and more, she says. “Parenting doesn’t happen in a vacuum, and tapping into the network of those who support the parents and children is essential to add additional resources to ensure the children have the best environment possible.”

It’s also crucial that both partners agree on core parenting principles, such as discipline, education, and values, before becoming parents, adds Thompson. “This makes decision-making easier and more harmonious.”

Promotes a Healthy and Trustworthy Relationship

Look for an encouraging partner who will support positive relationships between the children and each parent, while avoiding hostility or competitiveness, says Slavens. After all, trust is foundational in parenting. 

“A partner who also follows through on commitments [and] respects agreements ensures reliability and reduces stress in the relationship,” adds Thompson.

Pursues Open and Healthy Communication

Effective communication is the key to success in any relationship, and when partners can express their needs openly, it minimizes arguments and demonstrates mutual respect, says Srisuppak. 

“A partner who can express their thoughts and feelings effectively, listen actively, and engage in productive conversations helps avoid misunderstandings and conflict, while fostering trust and allowing for problem-solving,” adds Thompson.

Exhibits Mutual Respect

Mutual respect is crucial in any relationship, says Srisuppak. When you and your partner decide to have children, they will learn how to respect others based on the relationship you model with each other.

This respect also fosters cooperation and collaboration within the family, adds Thompson. “A partner who values your perspective and decisions will contribute to a balanced and positive parenting dynamic.”

Provides Emotional Support

Providing emotional support and recognizing each other’s strengths is a crucial component to a thriving parenting dynamic, says Srisuppak. “Respect and appreciation foster [healthy] family relationships”

The entire household benefits when parents support their partner’s efforts and work together to meet the child’s needs, adds Thompson. “Whether it’s offering encouragement during difficult moments or helping with childcare, support strengthens the partnership.”

Knows How to Collaborate

A partner who knows how to collaborate by putting their differences aside is a green flag, says Srisuppak. “Each parent thinks of the benefit and priority of the child first to minimize the impact on the child’s emotions. They also recognize the individual’s importance and contribution to the child.” 

Additionally, a partner who is willing to make concessions and work collaboratively on decisions shows that they will focus on the child’s well-being, rather than being set in their own way, adds Thompson.

Exhibits Patience

Parenting can be a long-term, evolving process, says Thompson. “A patient partner who understands that things won’t always go perfectly, and who is willing to work through challenges, will be an asset to the parenting relationship.”

Warning Signs Someone May Not Make a Good Parent

According to Chicvak, there are several warning signs that your partner may not be ready to be a parent yet. Here are a few red flags to consider:

  • Unable to reach an agreement on most things (stubborn, avoid conflict, unable to compromise, become overly aggressive or emotional, controlling or possessive)
  • Cannot communicate in a reliable and consistent way
  • Withhold essential information or are unable to have an open dialogue
  • Hold grudges and struggle with the idea of forgiveness
  • Speak negatively about the other parent causing division and drama
  • Unable to regulate their emotions or can be moody or unpredictable with their emotional state
  • Lack empathy and self-awareness to realize the impact of their actions on others
  • Struggle with communicating boundaries or following the boundaries set by others
  • Engage in hurtful actions that show disrespect or a lack of caring for those around them
  • Have fundamentally different worldviews and beliefs on what raising children should look like
  • Are self-absorbed and are focused on their own interests and motivations
  • Lack interest in parenting, fail to prioritize it, or are apathetic
  • Struggle with personal accountability and don’t take responsibility for their actions
  • Unreliable in commitments and communication, or show a lack of trustworthiness
  • Exhibit poor decision-making skills
  • Have a history of domestic violence, substance abuse, threats, intimidation, coercion, isolation, blaming, aggression, neglect, or other harmful behaviors





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